I have been debating for a few days what to write on the blog. The only thing that God kept on placing in my heart is failure. That’s right, the word failure. I battled with this for a few days. Until I realized that I had been battling that same feeling for some time.
I decided to look up the meaning of the word that has been troubling me this week and this is what I found;
fail·ure
1. The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends.
2. One that fails: a failure at one's career.
3. The condition or fact of being insufficient or falling short.
4. A cessation of proper functioning or performance.
5. Nonperformance of what is requested or expected; omission.
6. The act or fact of failing to pass a course, test, or assignment.
7. A decline in strength or effectiveness.
8. The act or fact of becoming bankrupt or insolvent
After reading the meaning I certainly understand that this one word described the feelings that I’ve been battling with for a long time and the revelation of its true meaning set me free from this emontion. I had always in my mind the thought of what I wanted to achieve in my life, with my calling from God, with my husband, my family and job. I always said that we can’t live by sight but by belief but not seeing the results you want sometimes can be frustrating.
As I was starting my own pity party God really spoke to my heart. I instantly found myself thinking about Joseph. If you haven’t read about Joseph you really should. Here is a young man that is sold as a slave by his ten brothers because of their jealousy. He spent many years a slave, then in jail for being accused of something he didn’t do. I can’t even imagine how much warfare went on inside his mind. Yet he was faithful to God even when his circumstances were the worst possible. He knew that his present life mattered little in comparison to his belief in God.
He might not have been seeing the blessings (actually not at all since he was a slave and in jail) but he knew that God was in control. (Read Genesis 39) He went from being a slave to governor of all of Egypt. God rewarded him simply because he believed that God was in control of his life. Even when his life was on the line he never forsook God. “the LORD was with him and that the LORD gave him success in everything he did” Genesis 39:3
So after thinking of Joseph I realized that even thou i might not have achieved all that I wanted to I know that God is in control of my life and my life includes my family, my calling and my finances. I pray that my life will glorify God during every moment of my life. Whether in moments of blessings or moments of struggles. I refuse to allow the sense of failure to come upon my mind because I know that I am capable to accomplish all that God called me to do and who He called me to be.
God also placed in my heart for me to see the video recordings of my children when they were born and I felt so blessed because of all that God has been doing in my life for the last eleven years. He certainly has been fulfilling every desire of my heart and I know that He will continue to do more. Praise and glory be to God alone!
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