Relationships!

I was over hearing a conversation that my husband was having with my daughter who is nine.  Actually she is more like nine going on 30, lol.  She was telling my husband that she wants to marry someone just like her dad.  I think my husband had a look of panic in his face, he was probably looking down at her and was thinking to himself "you are too little to think of these things". 

She began to explain to my husband that he is her prince! 
My heart just melted as i listened to her.  I love that she can look at her dad and think to herself that one day she wants a husband like him.  I know that unfortunately, that isn't the case for many kids that are growing up.  They are growing up in homes that lack peace, love and safety.  These children will grow up to be emotionally torn adults.  I know this, because i was one of those children that grew up  up in a house with it's share of turmoil.

For this reason I vowed with my husband to raise my children in a home they felt loved and safe.  Most importantly we had to take accountability to set the example for them of what a loving relationship is. 

It took alot of work because i had to break through the image that was embedded in my mind of my own parents difficult relationship.  I had to understand and realize that many of my defensive reactions were due to how i grew up and the many fights i witnessed.
So I want to write the next few blogs talking about relationships because theres so many layers to it. 

Today i want to talk about being defensive!

Why do you react the way you do?  Have been witnessed fights and verbal intimidation as a child?  Do you react defensive when you think that someone is going to or has disappointed you? 
I know i used to have the mentality that i had to have the first strike.  in other words, before someone hurts me i would put up my defenses. 
Perhaps you do this as well not only in your marriage but even with friends.  You jump into conclusions when you aren't being given what you expect and you get defensive.  Did you ever think that your defensive reaction is actually alienating those that care for you?

Keeping a defensive heart can be deceitful to us, no wonder God says in His Word;

"The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it? 10"I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds. " Jeremiah 17:9-10

If God gives us according to the results of what comes out of our heart and mind than what can we earn for a defensive attitude?

Think about it, examine your heart when it comes to being defensive.  Why do you do it?  when did you start to behave like this?  what have you earned from having that mentality?  Is keeping the defensive walls up keeping you from having peace in your relationships?