Yesterday as I enjoyed a full day of dance recital for my daughter I had the opportunity to briefly sit down and speak to another mom whom I hadn't seen for awhile. She was sharing with me that she has been working to be more assertive. I looked a Little puzzled at her and couldn't understand what she was referring to. I think when she saw the obvious expression on my face she began to explain to me what she was referring to.
She said that during all her life she never knew how to say no to people. That sometimes she says yes to things that she doesn't really want to do and then finds herself complaining about it.
Now, imagine my surprise when I find someone who has the same problem I once had, lol.
I too could never say no to anyone. I was what I call a people pleaser. It took many years of frustration within myself for me to realize I wasn't happy by being the yes girl.
I'm not talking about being mean to anyone or not handing a helping hand. I'm talking about not being able to have balance.
My life was so out of balance that I became very frustrated until I realized you don't earn friendships by doing every thing someone asks you to do, you earn true friendships by people loving who you are more than what you can do for them.
I took me over one year for me to work on not to be worried about pleasing everyone around me while I was left unhappy.
I'm blessed to have the very FEW friends I have, they are few, but they are genuine. I don't have to worry about being me around them because they like me for me and not for what I can do for them.
This conversation with this mom just reminded me how we are so insecure as woman. We either find ourselves jumping through hoops to earn friendships or we are trying to dress, style our hairs, loose weight all in the hopes of looking like someone else.
I was happy this mom realized that she needs to find balance in her life. Besides, this just reminds us how unique God made us and we need to see the value within ourselves that Christ saw in us.
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