From love to hate!

How close is love to hate?  The differences between the two are so big but the step from going from loving someone to hating seems to be so quick and sudden.

When we fall in love we feel that person was heaven sent to bring life and love into own lives but with the passing of time we start to see that person’s flaws and start focusing more on their flaws than on their good qualities.  This can be applied to our past friendship relationships also but I want to focus on marriage. 

It saddens my heart when I see families being split apart.  Sometimes there are some strong concrete reasons why this happens but most of times it is due to couples just disconnecting.  How do we disconnect?  How do we go from loving someone with so much passion to not even being able to tolerate the sight of their presence? 

The truth is it all starts with the determination of the mind.  We start to focus on the flaws and allowing bitterness and resentment to build up inside of us.  We go from seeing the person that was once in a pedestal in our lives to the Potter’s wheel because we feel that they need to be molded by our constant complaints into the person that we believe they should be.

How dull life would be if we were all alike.  Have you thought about that?  Could you really put up with someone like you?  Sometimes not even you can put up with yourself, yet we spend so much time trying to change someone to be more like ourselves. 

God would never join two identical people into a marriage.  We need to learn from each other.  One’s weakness will be someone else’s strengths!

I encourage you to look at the amazing qualities that your spouse has and focus on those great qualities, soon you will see that the flaws will seem to matter less.  How many of us worry more about making people outside our home happy and yet give the worst of ourselves to our spouses and children.  Make it a point to give the best of yourself to your spouse and children; you will see that this will bring much peace into your life.  Start to spend some of your thoughts into reminiscing on the past qualities and wonderful moments you have spent with your spouse.  I know you can make some room in your mind for this just get rid of some of the garbage that doesn’t belong there in the first place and replace it with the wonderful memories you have of each other. 

Like the word of God says; "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8